Knittwitt Knitter


Monday, May 9, 2016

TJBTM: Reflection

Today is interesting. I find myself over-thinking and going nowhere. I feel it is time to let go and move forward. Accept that I am me and that is all I need to be. I will not let anxiety control my favorite hobbies or prevent me from loving the world around me. I think everyday I become stronger and more prepared to set limits to prevent any anxiety overload again.

I found out two of my proposals were not funded. Of course this is very common but still sad none the less. I wrote these in hope of improving moral and environment at work. I believe creating a community of learners welcoming for everyone. I am very passionate about doing this. However, this is also the same stressor that caused my mind to not find rest. It is a big problem and I cannot solely fix it. Part of me is glad it was not funded because the amount of work associated with the proposal.

I am learning that life is more important than success and it takes time to make these dramatic changes. It takes a whole community as well, not a sole member. I will continue to be an advocate for change but I will not take sole responsibility.

Finally, I have been scare to do simple tasks. If I let my mind rest, it could wander. However, this is no way to live. Give in to the anxiety, nope... That is just not an option. I just decided to give it time and try one thing at a time. Every step forward is a success and milestone. I was nervous but in the end everything was fine. I have to say without the love and constant support of my husband, I may not have felt this way. As time goes on I will continue to move forward and keep trying additional things to and get back to my life.

4 comments:

  1. I am glad you are doing so well. And I'm guessing that soon something will just "click" and you'll be off an running on something you enjoy. Take care.

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    1. Thank you Bridget! I think it will become a routine and hopefully it will just click one day (soon!).

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  2. I commend you attittude. You are right. THings get difficult and when we are turned down it is not fun. BUT we learn to let go and we learn to have the patience to let our muddy waters settle so the answer becomes clear. I forgot whose quote that is but I love it

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    1. It is hard to see perspective when everything appears to be negative. I am trying to find ways to see a good side to even negatives. Thanks for stopping by! I appreciate your support.

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