Hello. Over the past few months I have been experiencing new emotions. Anxiety at extreme levels. I knew I needed help. I have been talking with a therapist weekly before and now bi-weekly about the next steps.
This past weekend was a ridiculous amount of stressors. Little things that added up. I knew that everyone has stressors and deals with them differently. How come when I experience them, I have massive anxiety and lose myself? My therapist explained what was going on through an example. Lets say you are having the worst day ever, many things going wrong and then you accidentally drop and break a glass. The broken glass on any other day would not be a big deal but today with everything you are dealing with it is all it takes for you to lose it and start crying. There is an emotional "cost" with these events that you have to pay.
Over the years, I have had many events occur. However, I never paid the emotional cost associated with events. I never sat down and let the tears follow so I could move forward and get on with life. Now whenever the "glass breaks" I crumble because of all the other emotional events I have holding in. I feel like the Hoover Dam and I am going to crack. I need to think about these past experiences (especially now when I am learning to heal and move forward) and let the tears flow. I apologize now but the next few weeks (or longer) will be blog posts that make me feel something. While all the post may not be bad experiences, I know I will be crying either tears of joy or sadness to be able to move forward. I hope if you are having trouble with anxiety or moving forward this journey will help you as well.