Hello. Over the past few months I have been experiencing new emotions. Anxiety at extreme levels. I knew I needed help. I have been talking with a therapist weekly before and now bi-weekly about the next steps.
This past weekend was a ridiculous amount of stressors. Little things that added up. I knew that everyone has stressors and deals with them differently. How come when I experience them, I have massive anxiety and lose myself? My therapist explained what was going on through an example. Lets say you are having the worst day ever, many things going wrong and then you accidentally drop and break a glass. The broken glass on any other day would not be a big deal but today with everything you are dealing with it is all it takes for you to lose it and start crying. There is an emotional "cost" with these events that you have to pay.
Over the years, I have had many events occur. However, I never paid the emotional cost associated with events. I never sat down and let the tears follow so I could move forward and get on with life. Now whenever the "glass breaks" I crumble because of all the other emotional events I have holding in. I feel like the Hoover Dam and I am going to crack. I need to think about these past experiences (especially now when I am learning to heal and move forward) and let the tears flow. I apologize now but the next few weeks (or longer) will be blog posts that make me feel something. While all the post may not be bad experiences, I know I will be crying either tears of joy or sadness to be able to move forward. I hope if you are having trouble with anxiety or moving forward this journey will help you as well.
A path of figuring out my place. Writing to digest. Knitting along the way.
Hello dear Desiree. It is good that you are moving forward each day and that you are going to share this on your blog. Although I've never had severe anxiety, I have felt many times like a clock that was wound too tight and that one day the spring would break. Maybe it was because I'm a perfectionist and like everything in order. Luckily for me, it's gotten less as I've gotten older. But, I totally understand how you are feeling. Especially with having children, family and a job. It's a lot to handle. I support your feelings totally and consider you a dear friend. Although, we have never met, we have "met" through our blogs. I hope you can rest a bit and enjoy your weekend. And, thank you for the very dear words you left on my blog. I will be praying and supporting you through your journey. Hugs, Pat
ReplyDeleteHi Pat! Thank you for your kind words! I consider you a close friend as well. I never knew how supportive a blog could be but it is really amazing! I look forward to reading about your journey as well. Many hugs.
DeleteForward is the only way to go. It's hard to remember that sometimes, but I hope you can keep going forward. I for one find your posts really wonderful.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bridget! Your comments are really inspiring and they are truly appreciated!!! :)
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