The past year has been a whirlwind. The biggest change was the purchase of our first home. I love the freedom to decorate, paint, and update whatever you want. I have rented my entire life and all I can say is I am sick of white walls!! However, our first home was in great condition and really we loved everything about it. We did not repaint anything. Over the months, the house still felt like we were renting someone else's home.
I think there are a few ways to fix this problem. Basically, I needed to add decor of our own. Over the past months we have slowly added different pieces of art work all over the house. We just added wall decor and rugs to the downstairs. Today we even added a fish tank. These small additions are our reflections of us.
The second (and most important) factor is making memories. I believe this will be our home once we make more memories. Only time can fix that. I remember the first time we trimmed our own trees and decided how to landscape the backyard. This was something I never thought I would need to do but in the end it was a great adventure for me and my husband. This winter we are thinking about hosting the big family Christmas celebration. I will be thrilled for everyone to join us and host a warm and welcoming party.
In short, part of my anxiety lately stems from my lack of identity. Changes and fluxes in life can leave one questioning your core values and identity. A safe place or home is a place where you can be you, without guilt or judgement. When your environment is changed that comfort is (temporarily) lost. I am exited to have the comfort and feeling back.