Hello. Starting off the weekend I was so excited to sit down and have a relaxing, unplanned weekend. That is exactly what we did. Saturday we headed to the library to give Nolan a chance to choose his own books and have fun with reading. It has been a struggle getting him to be interested in reading. However, the right star wars books was all we needed. Saturday evening was quite and fun with my boys. I think I was in bed by 10 pm.
Sunday was for restocking the fridge and cupboards. In the afternoon, I saw a movie with my sister-in-law. Call me immature but I love the twilight movies! It's cheap romance that pulls at my heart. I must say the last one was my favorite movie while the first novel is the best read (in my opinion of course). The whole theme of the weekend was just relaxing and lead to some time for thinking....
It's no surprise to anyone that money is tight for us. It's tight for everyone, the economy is not really supporting the middle class. A bit of history, Paul and/or I have been in college for the past 10 years. We really just started our professional careers about 18 months ago. I have my doctorate in chemistry and I always thought it would be so easy for me to provide for my family. Don't get me wrong, I was not planning on buying a benz and a mansion but at least the basics. But because of the amount of student loans and debt which have so generously given my family, I worry that we may be tight for a long time. I guess I am hoping that by getting it off my chest I will get some sort of relief from thinking about it night and day. Debt is something that is not like anything else in my mind. It's like this weight that I carry where I go. Every time I go to buy something I question whether this ball of yarn money should really go to student loans. On top of it, the debt feels like a dirty little secret I keep. The hardest part is looking at my son and wondering if his life could be better if I made different choices in my life. Maybe, by now he would have a sibling if we were in a different place? Anyways, this post is not happy or fun but it is the beginning for me to get this off my chest and a way to keep myself accountable. I am making a promise to myself to do better and to look at what I have. I am very luck to have a healthy, happy 2 year old and a loving husband. I just wish my education did not burden us so much right now. It's amazing how student loans can add up. I hope within a few short years things will turn around. Like my husband says we just have to pay our dues.
I will end this post with a quote that keeps me going when I worry about the future:
"It's not about getting what you want; It's wanting what you got!" Sheryl Crow.