Well it has been almost a month since everything happened. I have come a long ways from where I was. I feel like the rational person I can be. However, as I look back, I wonder why it happened. What could I have done or could do now to prevent another anxiety spell?
I realized that this was a warning, from my mind to slow down. I am literally taking on too much and not saying "no" enough. I care about many issues at work and feel like I could address some. I feel like I could make a difference so I should. However, one person can do a lot but at the same time can also go crazy trying. I need to learn to set boundaries. Saying "no" is not selfish, it is necessary to have time for life. We are all only human.
Setting goals like this is hard. I believe a person should help when they can. However, the difference I do not realize is the "when they can" part. I try to help in every way possible but at what cost. Currently, I love to write many proposals and try to get funding for diversity and climate issues. These issues are near and dear to my heart and writing constantly about these topics can be draining and very negative. I got wrapped up in the emotions.
So, it is time for a break. I will step back. I will continue my current projects and ideas but I will not add anything additional. I cannot. In the future, (maybe) I will look into other issues I could help with? Try something other than climate and diversity. I will first work on how to say "no" as well. That is a big challenge for me.