Over the past six months have been big changes in my life. Post covid. Post George Floyd. Post trauma. I lost myself. The fun, busy body woman, who loved getting my nails done. Who loved makeup and matching shoes with purses. During this time, I also found a huge life void in my life. Hungry for something but not able to find the satisfaction. Lost in food trying to find the feeling in fulfillment. Lost in my head due to busy schedules and surviving.
Inhale, count to 10, exhale.
The past few years, I found a routine of getting through this to get to the next. I have not taken time off for a vacation in so long. A relaxing, resting and rejuvenation for reentering. I decided to schedule a long vacation to stay at home and find me. What is my plan?
1- Garden- Spend time in the dirt under the sun. Breathe fresh air and feel exhausted from the sun. Sleep sound.
2- Train my thought process to stop being on the defense. Instead find some positivity in the world. Change my outlook from bracing for the worse to welcoming something new. Wake up grateful, hopeful, and excited. Not full of dread.
3-Exercise. Full my body with strength and not sugar. I bought a book about how to exercise and maintain it. How to
4-At a talk today, a phrase resonated with me. Instead of work-life balance, reframe for work-life integration. The two should complement each other. Make an individual stronger. Being a scientist and an educator clearly helps my son. Lightbulb moment. Take an appreciation for it.
5-knit. Find the hobby I love and enjoy it. Under the sun. Smiling.
6-Over the past year, maybe longer, I have felt like I wear sheets of clothing. Nothing with style. Just a sheet to cover myself and make myself proper for public. Professional so I can be taken seriously. I lost my identity and my style during the time I was surviving.
7-Identify one new thing about myself.
8-Discover what motivates me. Why do I do what I do?
9- Practice release of materialistic lifestyle. I do not need stuff. I need experiences, memories and smiles.
10-Breathe. Take time to breathe and slow life down a bit.
Here is to self discovery. You do you and I'll be me.
