Hello all.
I sit here thinking. Not able to really grasp life and relax. The fall semester started and confusion is in the air. A new year of graduate students seem more confused and overwhelmed compared to the last 5 years I have been here. In addition, we have lost several coworkers due to the climate and better offers at other universities. While changes can lead to a bright future, I am dreading the time it will take to get there. The tension and climate is at a breaking point. Everyone is stressed and pushed to their limits. Looking at it from a positive point of view, I believe everyone is extremely impressed with the ability for the department to thrive while all of the changes unfold.
Home life is just as chaotic. I feel very torn between being a mom and a wife. The rolls are very different and for a long time I was just the mom. Balancing a career, child in school and a marriage is something I want to come naturally but seems to always take more effort than I expected. I love my family and all my different rolls, I am just learning how to prioritize and let little things go.
My son changed schools from last year to this because we bought a home. He is not happy at his new school or the after school care he receives. This really pulls at my heart strings. I am hoping he will adjust and find things that make him happy to be at his new environment but currently it really is making me question our move.
Finally, I am struggling hard with taking a healthier approach to life. I want to be social and have time to see friends. However, to maintain a healthy eating habits I have to be in the kitchen preparing our meals and planing out grocery shopping for a lot of my free time.
It would be easier if I was a millionaire and could just pay someone to do it all for me. I could just read to my son and eat the already cut up fruit. BUT since I am clearly not a millionaire. I will struggle and find a balance, get in a groove and before you know it, we may have a routine down. Well, that is the plan at least.
A path of figuring out my place. Writing to digest. Knitting along the way.
So sorry to hear that your start to the new school year has a few bumps. I know it's hard to be a working Mom, wife, mother, and do all that's required at the home. And, I know the school system is so different from when my children were in school. But, you are doing your best and don't be too hard on yourself. Your family sounds so lucky to have you! I hope your schedule will get worked out and that you and your son will both have a wonderful school year. I'll be thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts. Hugs, Pat
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